How Exactly Should I Respond To My Intrusive Thoughts?

If you have an anxiety disorder or OCD then you know exactly what it's like to live with intrusive thoughts. In fact, you're probably all too familiar with the experience of a brain incessantly looping your biggest fears day in, day out, 24/7. Maybe you've tried running down the rabbit hole and attempting to solve "the problem," or have spent hours seeking reassurance for the burning questions in your mind. Yet despite your best attempts at relief, your thoughts only grow louder and more persistent, not less.   

So, how exactly should you respond when your brain starts chattering? We asked staff therapist Madelaine Sanfilippo, AMFT.

Next time you hear an intrusive thought, try saying: 

1. "I've heard that one before!"

If a thought like, "what if I don't love my partner enough" or, "if I don't go to the doctor to get this checked I could be making the biggest mistake of my life" is part of your brain's greatest hits collection, notice the pattern and respond with a blasé, "nice try brain, I've heard this one before!" Your anxiety will try to get your attention by showing you something new and shiny, so recognizing that this seemingly new thought is actually part of a broad and pervasive pattern is key to letting the thought be and moving on to a more valued direction. 

2. "Thanks, brain!"

Leaning into the thought and thanking your brain for sharing it with you is a great way to use humor as a tool. When we recategorize something scary as something funny, or even helpful (anxiety after all, is not our enemy) we strip it of its power to rouse us to action. 

3. "I notice that, but I'm doing something else right now."

This is a gentle way to reinforce redirection when a thought elicits an anxiety response. Noticing the thought is there allows us to remind our brain that all types of thoughts are "allowed," but they do not all warrant our full attention and we can continue with values-based actions even if an intrusive thought occurs. 

4. "I am having a thought." 

This one may seem silly, but naming an intrusive thought appropriately for what it is helps us create space between our body's experience of anxiety and what is actually occurring- that we are having a thought. While thoughts can be uncomfortable, they are not inherently dangerous, and reminding ourselves that intrusive thoughts at the end of the day are just a type of thought and not necessarily the truth, can help us take our power over our experience back.

5. Say nothing at all... 

The responses above are meant to be helpful reminders not to run down the rabbit hole of intrusive thinking, but if you notice that engaging at all with your anxiety gets your more stuck rather than less, try not responding. You can simply notice an intrusive thought and turn your attention elsewhere. Even if your anxiety doesn't actually change in intensity, you'll develop the all important ability to direct your attention and by doing so, break free.