Is It Possible To Have Too Much Free Time?

For many of us with anxiety and OCD, the prospect of free time can feel daunting or even threatening, as explained in this article outlining a research study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

While this may seem counterintuitive (shouldn’t we soak it in and be able to relax?) the anxious brain often sees idle time as a place for anxiety to run rampant, especially without activities or tasks to distract us from our biggest worries.

The effects of unstructured time can be especially strong during the summer months, where social pressure to always be doing something is at an all-year high and kids are out of school.

But here's the thing: if we avoid stillness by staying consistently busy, we reinforce our brain’s belief that taking a break is something to be fearful of.

So, how do we lean into the joy that can come from free time, without filling it with distractions?

Set measurable, realistic goals for each day

Waking up every morning with no idea what you’re doing can be understandably difficult for people with anxiety. While we don’t need to fill our whole day up in advance every day, it can be helpful to have a semblance of continuity by creating a short list of everyday tasks.

These small, attainable tasks can operate as anchors when leaving an entire day to the unknown feels too daunting.

Notice your should’s

"This time of year should be fun." "I should be able to relax." "I shouldn’t be worried about anything right now."

Sound familiar? These are examples of thoughts that may arise if we aren’t relaxing as much as we think we “should” be. But when we place unrealistic standards on ourselves for what unstructured time ought to look like, we amplify our distress. 

If you are having a hard time focusing on your beach read because you are feeling anxious, allowing that feeling to exist rather than judging yourself for having it will ultimately lead to a Maybe today is just going to be an anxious day and that's perfectly OK. 
 
And Lastly... Tolerate the discomfort

Ultimately, there are going to be some days in our lives that are just plain boring, unproductive, and unstructured. While the actions above can help to tolerate the discomfort that comes with that, it is also important to remember that we can handle being uncomfortable. 

Nothing needs to be done about the discomfort that comes from having nothing to do, and our body and nervous systems will regulate on their own, eventually. 

It can be tempting to aspire to the perfect summer, but remember, there is no one “right” way to refuel and relax. Only by removing expectations for what today should look like can we move towards what today is, and embody true presence in this very moment.

How relaxing! much more pleasant experience.